Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse: Have a plan!



Image from theconsumerist.com

I have not had much time to endulge in this guilty pleasure do to the fact that I have been working on product for my jawa-stores, and painting my first commission. Which by the way, you can follow the progress of on my commission blog, www.jawaballs.blogspot.com I will be updating it tonight. I needed a little break, so now here come the zombies!

So I have established the ground rules... more or less. I believe that the hardest part of surviving the zombie apocalypse is the first hour of escape. I call it the Shock and Aweful phase. This is the time where you are going to be confronted with your worst nightmare come true. You may come face to face with your mother trying to eat your brains... OR you may be forced with making decisions like trying to save your girlfriend as she is enveloped by a shambling horde because she was too slow to keep up and you know you will probably be pulled down too... (Remember, most heroes are only recognized after they died being a hero.) Morale issues aside, we will assume you were at least prepared enough to get away and find a safe place. You had your ready bag ready to go, and remembered to grab it as you ducked your zombie mom and ran out the door. You found a nice place to hide for the the afternoon, got dressed, finished taking your poo and wiped your butt, and were sure to protect your body against any infections and chafing. You have analyzed your course of action for the next few hundred yards, and are ready to go commando style... using cover and speed as your friends.

What do you do now??

You need a bigger plan. Your own individual survival plan is only part of the job. What you need to do is get together with your buds and come up with a plan for prolonged survival, and count on them to stick with it. But you have to do your part. My own personal plan is to try to make it home to Upstate New York. I know, my moving to Connecticut put a big crimp in my zombie survival plans, but I am a trooper and will stick to the over all plan! They know I am probably a gonner living in such a populated zone, but I am smart and resourceful. I will survive.

So what do I do? I go to Wal-Mart.

Wal-Mart has it all. That MUST be your first stop. There are two Wal-Marts nearby. (From here on known as WM) I have chosen to make the further one my destination. I can get to the closer one, but I have to cross two bridges, and go through a heavier populated area. By the way, avoid bridges... they are bottle necks... crossing a bridge in a populated area is like plopping your but next to the General's Chicken at a 4.99 Chinese Buffet.

My chosen WM is a 6 mile hike north through mostly sparse residential areas and woods. I have not actually walked it, but I have driven the route, and know the way there, and know of any fence issues I might encounter... Mind you I am not a spry and skinny teenager... There will be little fence jumping in my survival plans.

So there you go. I have kids coming in now and gotta get going. Next time, I will tell you what to do once you make it to WM! JB

6 comments:

Deo said...

Jawa..wall mart would not be a smart decision to head to...Think about it... if i zombie apoc. did occour where would everyone go to...the police station, foodstore, wallmart..Places that have supplies...It would be tough getting there (but your traveling in woods). Wallmart would probably be packed with people trying to get goods....

Falk said...

Exactly. I think it's better to keep a low profile for the fist wave, somewhere remote, with enough supplies.
The key is to have everything you need BEFORE the s**t hits the fan.


Wait till society has collapsed, watch it on the TV, have a beer, then start a new one.

Jux2p0ze said...

Jballs: if you ever find yourself in the south, WallyWorld aka Walmart is one of the best places to be...food, shelter, resources, and most importantly: guns & ammo.

Falk said...

I still don't think that it would be very smart to go to a place containing guns, ammo and a whole lot of scared, panickingand or rioting people... Premium way to get shot...

Deo said...

Yea...even if you got to wallmart without being ran over by some crazed guy..you would probably be killed by a guy wanting what you just got...Also there would be lines of people and no food left..your better off finding a safe spot like FALK said.

jawaballs said...

What you guys are not taking into consideration is the element of surprise. You will be prepared and have a plan, most people will not be. They are not going to see this as the zombie apocalypse, and are not going to be trying to plan for survival yet. Most of them will be just trying to cope with the horrible things they have just seen, not trying to stock up on Mountain Trail Mix. You have some time before the general public floods the retail venues. Until then, you will only find other 'prepared' individuals or small groups who have the same intention that you have. In that case, it is probably a good thing because this will be your first opportunity to get some real partners.

Falk said that it is better to have all of that stuff BEFORE the poop hits the fan... Completely unreasonable for the average joe! And that is what these are tailored for.

Of course it would be better to have your own little remote bomb shelter stocked with state of the art zombie slaying devices and Slim Jims. I do agree with you. Maybe a few extreme survivalists actually have one. I barely have enough room in my studio apt for my 40k models. I surely aint got no room for boxes of MREs and shot gun shells.

A zombie survivalist, with a well laid plan, should be able to hit WM and get out before it is too late.

Lastly, It is still too early to try to stock up any way. You are only going to WM to grab a few things to get you on your way... not grab enough Beefaroni to restart civilization.

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