Posted by Jawaballs at 10:11 AM
Image from theconsumerist.com
I have not had much time to endulge in this guilty pleasure do to the fact that I have been working on product for my jawa-stores, and painting my first commission. Which by the way, you can follow the progress of on my commission blog, www.jawaballs.blogspot.com I will be updating it tonight. I needed a little break, so now here come the zombies!
So I have established the ground rules... more or less. I believe that the hardest part of surviving the zombie apocalypse is the first hour of escape. I call it the Shock and Aweful phase. This is the time where you are going to be confronted with your worst nightmare come true. You may come face to face with your mother trying to eat your brains... OR you may be forced with making decisions like trying to save your girlfriend as she is enveloped by a shambling horde because she was too slow to keep up and you know you will probably be pulled down too... (Remember, most heroes are only recognized after they died being a hero.) Morale issues aside, we will assume you were at least prepared enough to get away and find a safe place. You had your ready bag ready to go, and remembered to grab it as you ducked your zombie mom and ran out the door. You found a nice place to hide for the the afternoon, got dressed, finished taking your poo and wiped your butt, and were sure to protect your body against any infections and chafing. You have analyzed your course of action for the next few hundred yards, and are ready to go commando style... using cover and speed as your friends.
What do you do now??
You need a bigger plan. Your own individual survival plan is only part of the job. What you need to do is get together with your buds and come up with a plan for prolonged survival, and count on them to stick with it. But you have to do your part. My own personal plan is to try to make it home to Upstate New York. I know, my moving to Connecticut put a big crimp in my zombie survival plans, but I am a trooper and will stick to the over all plan! They know I am probably a gonner living in such a populated zone, but I am smart and resourceful. I will survive.
So what do I do? I go to Wal-Mart.
Wal-Mart has it all. That MUST be your first stop. There are two Wal-Marts nearby. (From here on known as WM) I have chosen to make the further one my destination. I can get to the closer one, but I have to cross two bridges, and go through a heavier populated area. By the way, avoid bridges... they are bottle necks... crossing a bridge in a populated area is like plopping your but next to the General's Chicken at a 4.99 Chinese Buffet.
My chosen WM is a 6 mile hike north through mostly sparse residential areas and woods. I have not actually walked it, but I have driven the route, and know the way there, and know of any fence issues I might encounter... Mind you I am not a spry and skinny teenager... There will be little fence jumping in my survival plans.
So there you go. I have kids coming in now and gotta get going. Next time, I will tell you what to do once you make it to WM! JB
Labels: Surviving the zombie apocalypse