Self Reflection. When are we bing dicks?

One thing that can be gathered from some of the recent hate I have gotten online is that I have taken some time to look inside myself. I took some time to reread some of my posts, and rewatch some of the batreps I have posted. I have to say, that I do feel I owe some apologies. First of all to Black Matt and Brother Captain James. I think that I sort of put some spins on batreps I posted from games we played that was unnecessary. You two guys are good friends and I apologize if I posted any thing that hurt your feelings. There are also a few other guys here and there against whom I may have made arrogant comments during video shooting for the sake of the camera but at your expense. I meant no harm.

I truly do not ever mean to come off as a dick. I make great effort in life to see it through the other guys eyes which serves me well in the classroom... but sometimes forget to take a look at myself. I have to remember that most readers will pop in and see one or two posts, and if they dont like what they see, will brand me in a negative way.

Who else?

Youtube viewers... sorry, I am still selling my tutorials and not posting them for free on youtube. :)

Texas, Austin and Jwolf? Die, Die, Die!

Haters? Hate me all you want, I still love you!

So there you go. Step one of 40k annonymous is seeking forgiveness. Consider my forgiveness sought.

Also just keep in mind, it is all just fun and games!

More to Come.


I changed the title to make it less about me and more rhetorical! :)


Flekkzo said...

Pish posh! You were recording a game where the objective is to win. You never came off as a dick before. Getting random internet-hate is always an unwelcome experience for one who wants to be a nice guy in RL. It can affect one in funny ways.

Mr Black Matt seems to be pretty good at talking smack himself (which I only enjoy, I haven't ever seen him in a vid going overboard) and Mr Brother Cpt James seemed quite capable of defense if I go by his comment in the recent hate "post". I haven't met anyone of you, but I am certainly sure that all three of you can take care of yourself.

The only thing you have done is open yourself up to the internet and have ended up getting a lot of people's attention. Don't worry, you guys are so mild that there is nothing to worry about at all.

Now, enough of this damned internet hate stuff. It takes away from the fun stuff, from smack talk, from 40k, from tactics and painting and arguing about important stuff. It's a game, things get heated, that's normal.

In fact, why don't you go play a double against BCJ and BM and have both sides videotape it? That way we can see it both ways:)

Good luck everyone in TXs btw. Go kick some arse!

eriochrome said...

I think that when you get really competitive in anything people can do things prick like. Win At All Costs can cost you your friends as can super cocky attitudes deserved or not.

Ash said...

Did you and Black Matt plan this. With in five minutes you have close to the same post.

Jawa, if we let the words of every 12 year old get to us where would we be?

(See comment on Black Matts blog and insert here)


AutarchAndrew said...

jawa your awesome dont let those mean 12yrs on the monkey bars tell you anything diffrent lol hey what happened to your how to paint crimson fists vid i might start them and i need your painting expertise

Dalton King said...

Jawa to be honest, any time I hear you guys talk smack it's always friendly and to your group of friends. You've talked some joke smack to Jwolf but so has he. The thing that pisses me off about people commenting on your smack talking is that THEY aren't even involved. Hell, you and Jwolf are joking around as friends because you're going to see eachother soon so it isn't juse faceless internet banter. I think these douchebags just want to feel important because they are huge Jwolf fanbois; if you look at his website you can see that he's not that pleased with them either. People just feel some need to feel important and try to snag some attention from their idol who they're defending. Let the Dbags be Dbags, they probably aren't going to be growing up any time soon. Speaking of which, who the hell would comment on your smack talking to Fritz/James/Matt... most of the times you giggle like a little girl after your joke so I can obviously tell that you aren't being serious about it. People seem to think that you and Fritz are powergamers and you two aren't at all; you're just really skilled casual gamers. If you were Hardcore gamers you'd both be sporting best of lists. Man, people these days. Good luck though, I'm sure you and Fritz will rep 5th Dimension!

PS... I'd like to see that blood angels painter guy get a Golden finalist.

Hades Alpha said...

Hey, I'm one of those who posted a comment on BoLS which could have seems like litanies of hate against you.

I, by no means, meant to deeply offence you. It was only doing smack talk in reaction to your behaviour on your blog. I truly believe you’re a good player/strategist but I must say that you might want to keep the smack talk for your game, not your blog.

That said, I must say that if I made that judgement, it means that I read your blog. So that’s worth something. You’re doing a great job, just keep it easy on the «I’m good at this and that…».

This is my honest opinion.

Keep those posts coming.

jawaballs said...

Good points on all! The whole BoLScon smack talk thing was just meant to rile up some fun, but it bothered me when guys came back calling me an ass for creating playful banter. And no, I did not plan any thing with Matt, though we did have a decent discussion on the phone about some of this. I need to go see what he had to say! The biggest thing I was seeing is that people were getting the impression that I am arrogant. And reality is far from that. I felt a few posts about the real person writing as Jawaballs may help some of the haters see the difference. Jawaballs has become a persona if you will, but he still wants to be liked! :)

Another surprising angle is dudes saying that I think I am the shit at painting. I can see how they might think that, any one who posts their work online has a small amount of pride. I may have even referred to some skill that I went to college to acquire and would be hard for guys who did not to replicate, but I know that there are a thousand dudes out there who are better painters then me. Bah. :) Enough of this stuff. I think every one gets the point. Now that it is here, I will simply link it whenever guys chug too much Haterade. Now back to more important things! Like taking a huge dump I have been saving up for the last 4 hours.

Chernobyl said...

In regards to your question jawaballs. No your not a dick you are a human who desires social interactions with other folks more so from those you know. Although I have never met your personally my perception of you is that of a fairly typical working member of society who likes to post on a hobby he enjoys.

As far as smack talk goes I would dare any full blooded male to say that when they hang around thier friends that they dont constantly banter each other. The only difference is that your banter is on the internet, to which I say who cares?

For the haters its all a matter of trying to be sociable however instead of going about it in a proper way they try and use it as a means of digging up your anger so that you will react to it in a negative manner. Folks who do things like this seek to effect another persons life not through a positive interaction but a spitefull one that is counter productive to what they are trying to achieve.

Jawaballs dont question yourself it only shows that the people who say those things have some how made you doubt yourself as the person you are and as a fellow human being I would hate to see that happen.

As my internet cohort Flekkzo stated enough of this hippie BS back to the meat of what this blog is suppose to be.Chernobyl Demands It!

Magilla Gurilla said...

Hell, if I had half of you and Black Matt's painting skills I would be arrogant!
I guess I will never understand people getting irritated about smack talk...if you have ever played competitive sports, it is just part of the game.
Warhammer 40k for alot of us is about winning [especially those of us who paint like the aforementioned 12 year olds - and no I am not buying your video!HAHA!], smack talk is just part of being competitive. If you can get undersomeones skin, you have an advantage.
Smack talk away Jawa and Matt - it is what makes your videos entertaining - that and the paint jobs on the mini's.

Black Matt said...

Holy moly Jawaballs,
I almost used your real name there I was so taken aback. Thanks! I think we should all agree that Stelek is a dick over at the truth hurts blog. What a fucking d-bag

Black Matt said...

where are we going for drinks tonight!

Docrailgun said...

I can't find where you have been a dick, and I've been reading your 'blog for a while now.

Eh, whatever. The haters can suck assault cannon.

jawaballs said...

Magilla makes a good point. I played soccer and ran track in college. I might not look like it now, but there was a time when I would stand at the starting blocks, get eyeballed by bigger, faster looking dudes, then turn my head and smile at them as I crossed the line finish line first. I bet a lot of the more competitive 40k players share that sort of example and I believe that guys who did not share that experience have a difficult time relating.

And Matt, I think James is in too, right now I am trying to cram this commission into submission! Im so close to being done! It will be after 8 though, probably 9ish. And I have been ordered not to stay out too late by the fiance since we are leaving at 6am. I will call you in a bit! JB

jawaballs said...

One last note before I get back to work... I think that the point of this post is self reflection. We all need to do it some times to keep our selves in check. I hope that the reader takes a moment to stop and think about his or her own persona for a moment. The way people see us is probably a lot different then the way we see ourselves... if every one were a little more aware of that fact, the world would be a happier place! :)

Jonathan said...

Usually if you have to ask the question, "Am I being a dick?" there must be some shred of truth in the matter. Don't take that wrong: I don't know you and neither do I know of all the drama you speak of, as of late.

But, it is often helpful to step back and take stock of what it is that we are doing, rightly or wrongly, that is causing a stir. So, I commend you in taking some time to consider the question!

lordmagyar said...

look brother, the real jawa fans and i dont mean fans like Micheal Jackson fans, no what you are about, you are passionate about the game without being overbearing, you do lay down some smack talk only when you play guys from battle for salvation club, you and fritz and warmaster, let the rest of us into your world,and if we dont like where your taking us we can go always jump off, you do have the ban-hammer i think you take a big swing if someone is being a dick.
i think you can ban someone from PM you, if it gets to much inform youtube, what you are doing is you hobby dont let some ******* **** up set you.

Flekkzo said...

Autarch Andrew, you should go for some Imperial Fists love. First founding and all that goodness :) Besides, you should post more pictures of your Eldar army, the internets demands it! They looked real sleek in the fuzzy youtube vids.

Speaking of painting, don't most of us want others to see our works of art and as a result, don't most of us want them to like it? I know I have been every bit as proud of some of the minis I have painted than any one of you who has replied here. I also know that a good portion of you can out paint me. Dissing someones painting is just low self esteem issues for sure. More pictures from everyone!

Jawa(have you asked George Lucas for permission?)balls. Soccer? Wow, hehe, bet you enjoyed Team USA's success in South Africa :)

jawaballs said...

My boys blew it! I watched the game and was sooo disappointed. What is worse is the 5-0 loss to Mexico... One step forwards two steps back!

And a Jawa was a motorcycle before it was a Star Wars character. He might have something to say about my logo, but I think he owes me for episodes 1-3.

Flekkzo said...

Jawaballs, he owes us all, he owes us all. Episode 1 forever tainted it all.

I have higher hopes for the Women's soccer team (Go Sweden!) myself. We might have one of the best players in the world, but he is such a lousy team player. I think Sweden won't make it to the world championship at all. The U21 men's team played real well though.

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