Posted by Jawaballs at 7:31 AM
In my first post I talked about having your ready bag. I got a lot of response from a lot of people and thats great! To respond to a few things... first of all... having a gun in your ready bag is unreasonable. For most people, having a gun at all is unreasonable. I will keep these posts to what is reasonable and realistic. For example, some one wrote that you should master a martial art. Lol. The advice is sound, but for the average person... that is not going to happen. Time constraints, and money are two reasons. Martial arts are expensive. Plus, a lot of martial arts are based on using things like pressure points, pain and the fear of pain against your opponent. Who is to say that a maneuver that may work against some guy who is afraid of having his wrist broken will work against a zombie? It is more reasonable that you seek out a friend who does take some martial arts and have him teach you a few hold breaks. Or at best, take a local self defense class at the Y. That is the sort of approach I am taking. Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse for the average joe!
So back to my post. Be prepared! After the ready bag and lip balm. There are a few realistic things you can do to be prepared. A life changing diet is not reasonable. Of course it is healthy and smart, but preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse is not motivation enough to get us to stop eating yellow Zingers for breakfast. God those are good! Here are some things you can do on your own though that are reasonable.
There are gun clubs in all areas. Take a saturday and seek one out. Pay for a day and fire some guns! The real world is very unlike Halo. Hitting a target through the scope of a 30/30 is a lot harder then you would think. Blasting away with two .45 caliber pistols like Neo is probably not going to land you many hits. Instead, fire a shotgun at some traveling targets. Ask some one to help you. More often then not you will find lots of guys willing to share their knowledge. Fire some hand guns. Both revolvers and automatics. Fire a rifle. Learn how they all work and where each are appropriate. All three have different jobs. The one you want to focus on is the Shot Gun. At the end of the day, you will have a lot more knowledge then the average joe, have some decent experience with a fire arm, and feel pretty darn content. Its theraputic! This will come in handy later.
More weapons training:
Now it is time for training with hand weapons. You are not a swordsman. You are not Conan. You probably do not own a sword. If you did own a sword, it is probably not useful as a weapon. In other words, forget the image of Butch from Pulp Fiction with the Samurai sword. Useless. And odds are you will more likely slice off your own nose before severing any Zombie heads. I have seen sites offering any number of cool and oddly shaped zombie fighting blades. Dont bother. To see why, take an Axe, an item designed to cut wood, and go out to a forest. Try chopping a tree. Notice how it gets stuck and requires force to pull it out? Well, imagine that happening to your super cool zombie killing slayer sword while there is another zombie coming from behind the first...
I suggest two types of weapons that are easily procured, probably from the neighbors garage. First of all, a simple club. Get your self a good, heavy aluminum bat. Probably even better still is a length of strong pipe. In case you did not know, a length of good pipe is more structurally sound then an equal length of solid metal rod. Lighter too. So get your self a beat stick. In a pinch, a wooden bat will do, or a piece of 2x4 if you have nothing else until you find better. Go out to some woods, set up a target dummy... you can make it out of posts, old clothes, hay bails whatever you can get your hands on. Practice swinging at the head to see if you can hit it. Better yet, sprint 30 yards, then practice swinging at the head. Even better still, have a buddy hold the dummy up for you on a stick. Run 30 yards, then try to hit the head of a dummy that your buddy is moving up and down. That is a skill you can master in a shorter time, and will take you a lot further then becoming a black belt. (Which you probably will not do any way.)
Oh and a word on targeting Zombies with your pimp stick. The head may seem like the natural target. However, I am not entirely sure that is the case. Zombies cannot be knocked out. They are zombies. It is my opinion that hitting them in the shin and arms will be a more valuable use of your time. Shatter those bones! A zombie, though still a ravenous soul hungry eating machine, cannot walk on shattered legs. It cannot grab you with shattered arms. Remember, survival depends on getting away, not slaying zombies. Knock em down. Move on. Sweep the legs!
The other handy weapon will be the garage variety timber axe. The kind most dads buy, use 3 times then hang on a wall in the tool shed. Even dull it is a formidable weapon. It usually had a flat edge on the back of the head that can double as a pimp stick, though the shape of the handle may hinder that. If you do end up in a situation where you or a friend has immobilized a zombie, now is the time to lop off its head with your choppa. Oh, and it is useful to cut wood too.
If you are really feeling manly, grab the sledge hammer! But I suggest this only if you have a partner. The bat or pipe is quicker, but there is nothing like a sledge hammer to bring a satisfying crackle and shatter to a couple of shin bones.
So, you got your weapons training. You can hit a moving target with a shot gun. You have fired a pistol and a rifle. You can take a zombies legs out from under it after running a block. You are now one step closer to surviving the 1st hour of The Zombie Apocalypse!
Oh, by the way, the guy in the picture skewering a zombie with an IV pole... forget it. There is no way he is going to push the blunt end of that pole through the rib cage organs and back of the ribcage of a moving zombie.
Labels: Surviving the zombie apocalypse