Zombie Apocalypse: The First Hour


The first hour of the Zombie Apocalypse would be the most crucial and difficult to survive. Picture this... You are laying in bed taking a nap at 3 in the after noon. Then you are startled awake by a loud noise... your bed room door slamming open. Standing in the open portal is your mom, or girlfriend, or wife, or insert any loved one. In the shuttered darkness, you don't notice any thing different, until a sliver of sun shines on their sunken and blood thirsty face... then the walking corpse lunges for you...

What the heck do you do? I would have to say that 9 out of 10 times, the average Joe would bite it right here. That one percent is more lucky then smart. Maybe he wriggled away at the last minute... who knows. But just about all of us are going to rush to see what is the problem with our loved one, and find deaths embrace in that situation. I sure would. But would I? I mean, seriously, I have written this... Perhaps I would be amongst the 1 percent that stops for a split second to think "Is my pregnant girlfriend a zombie?" Oh god... Imagine the horror!!! Hell, even if you managed to survive that initial encounter... would you be able to go on? Every one of needs to do a little soul searching for that answer. But I will assume for the rest of this post, that the reader is amongst the 1%.

So, the first our of the rest of oblivion is upon you. One way or another, you know that zombies are real and ravaging your town. You may or may not have encountered loved ones in your house that have gone over. You may or may not have encountered co workers. You may be at work when you find out. Wherever you are, you need to have a plan.

If you read my first post, you should have at least two ready bags. One in your house, one in your car. This will eliminate the need for you to get to either. Cars are no good now except in rare circumstances that will be obvious. Definitely no good in a city or large town. Most obviously why is other cars. You will not be the only one trying to escape in a car. All you will be doing is joining a big long buffet line in which YOU are the General's Chicken.

In that first hour... get out. If you are in a safe place, get dressed. Put on comfortable athletic shoes, cargo pants, a heavy long sleeve shirt and get out. If you have even better stuff to put on, do so now. If you are not in a secure place, grab your ready bag, and get out. But do NOT run out into the open street! Hopefully before this time has come, you have taken a few moments to go out and size up your neighborhood. Here is what you need to have done and why:

You are escaping on foot, and escaping from a creature that does not tire, and may or may not be faster then you. If you are an average human, you can probably run 100 meters in 15 to 20 seconds. After which time you are spent. A fast human can run 100 meters in 12 to 15 seconds. A male sprinter on a track team can run it in 9 to 12 seconds. (Just so you know.) 100 meters is the length of a foot ball field, or roughly two city blocks. Your life is now measured in meters. You need to sprint from cover to cover. Do not run across open space if you do not need to. Run to an area of cover, like behind a shed, and plan out your next "Jump" while you recover from your sprint. From your area of safety, run to the next area of safety, that is roughly 50 meters away. If you are sprinting for that area of cover that is 50 meters away, and are spotted by a zombie, you will have about 50 more meters before your body grows fatigued, and you can no longer sprint. From there, your run becomes a jog, and you will probably be unable to sprint again any time soon.

Thems the numbers. Of course a lot of you are in great shape, and can maintain your sprint for hundreds of meters. You have an advantage. However, you should still only run 50m at a time and re-assess your route of escape every stop. You never know what may be around the next corner! You do not want to be spotted.

Using this "Hide and Sprint" technique, you should be able to get to a relatively safe and hidden spot where you can wait for darkness.

Oh, and if you encounter other people trying to escape, they will probably try to join you because you will obviously appear to be more prepared then they. If they are a stranger, size them up. They are either a potential partner, or potential meat. A partner is some one in the same, or better physical condition then you, and willing to take orders. No, a cute blonde does not auto qualify as a partner. You will have opportunities to assess your companion as you escape. If this person is up to the task, great! Otherwise, he is meat. Consider him a 1up. Do not hesitate to leave him behind to distract the zombies away from you. Darwinsism is now the rule of the land. Survival of the fittest. Any one that will increase your chances of death, should be discarded.

What if that person is your girlfriend/mother/sister? How many movies have you ever seen sibling or related couples survive in? Usually the more "fit" one dies first, trying to bail the weaker out of trouble. Leaving the weaker to shriek and cower while the zombies descend upon her any way. Lol. As I type this I think about my girlfriend... Pregnant, slow, and panicky. Crap... I'm screwed.

7 comments:

Jwolf said...

I have to say that the Zombie Apocalypse theme is just good plain fun.
Pregnant girlfriend does equal Jawaballs Tartare, sorry man.
I'm working on getting the kids to run faster, but I'll need to have my poleaxe and shotgun ready just in case.

jawaballs said...

Yah, I am done. Every scenario I come up with ends with me holding a zombie baby in my hands like that dude in Dawn of the Dead the remake. Then being dragged down. It is just good ole fashioned fun! It is refreshing to write something other then 40k once a week. ;)

Havik110 said...

exactly what do I do with my 40k Minis when the zombie apocalypse hits?

Tyran said...

hope they turn full size and defend you.
wird if they were nids speaking into your head (invonuntary shudder)

Or Orks they would be an even worse threat then the zombies cos you'd get zombified orks.

crimsonclone said...

that would be so funny
space marine"purge the unclean"

on a side note do you think they have zombies in 40k and if so what race is best perpared

Barjack said...

This makes me think of the soul drinkers book where they are fighting thier way out of the hive city with all the zombies. Marines are tough but a 1000 zombies could take a couple of them down and then what do you have Space marine zombies. Ohhh wait that death gaurd. Genetically enhanced super human brain nommers.

slide said...

Saim hann would do verry well in this situation. We would just hide on our craft world shipps and ride it out. One + for being in isolation an own the fastest shipps in the universe. Guard would burn. ha ha

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