Are you ready for the Zombie Apocalypse? I sure am.


So last night, I finished my Baal Predator Golden Daemon entry ... well almost... :) And forced myself to drop the brush and go to bed at about midnight... I get up at 6am for work so I have only been giving myself 4 or 5 hours of sleep the last two weeks because I tend to lie in bed thinking about... things. Lately, it has been my GD entries. I visualize how they will look, how to change them, what I have time to do etc. Basicly, I am painting them in my mind!

But I need a break once in a while. Last night, I turned off the TV and forced my mind to switch gears. What do I think about then? Well, the Zombie Apocalypse of course! The impending encroachment of lifeless, brain eating undead is a popular diversion for me and my old friends. We spent many a night around our campfire coming up with The Zombie Contingency and putting it to written document form. Every one should have one... However, the problem is that now I live a good 6 hours from most of my friends. I am seperated... divided... away. Last night, I began reorganizing my personal Zombie Contingency. And this is the first post in that series.

I know, there have been books written about this stuff, but I have not read them.

So, where shall I begin? With step one of course! Survival in the first hour of a Zombie Apocalypse. Well no, actually that will be step two. Step one is Be Prepared. In the event of a Zombie Apocalypse, you need to be prepared. That will make the difference between you and the 'meat'. Perhaps the most important thing you can have, besides a plan, is a Ready Bag. I have three. No kidding! One in my apartment, one in my car, and one in my class room. Your ready bag does not need to be extravagant or expensive. Here is what you need.

A backpack. This can be a small cheap one.
Bottled Water.
Trail Mix, two kinds, the one with all the dried fruit, and the one with the MnMs.
Extra Underwear
Mini first aid kit.
cotton and wool socks
a pair of Light Shoes. I keep some old Converse All-stars or Adidas Gazelles in mine.
Lip Balm
Science lab safety glasses
Multi Tool
matches
flash light
rubber gloves
cargo shorts
belt
tee shirt
toilet paper

Now, your ready kit is NOT intended to be your survival pack. In the event of a Zombie apocalypse, the world will go to shit and you will be able to get that stuff pretty easily. More on that later. Plus it is impractical to keep a survival pack on hand at all times. A small back pack in your trunk is reasponable.

So, extra underwear are a must. Change them often... we dont want you getting Swamp Ass while walking miles in the summer heat. Cotton and wool socks serve the same purpose. Change your socks, keep them dry. Your feet are your most valuable commodity and you will need them to be tip top!

Why shoes? Ever see Die Hard? John McClain running through broken glass bare foot? 28 Days Later? Jim walking through London in hospital booties? You never know might may happen, but you may find yourself with no shoes on when the zombies strike. It takes way to long to stop and put them on. That is why you just grab your ready bag and run. When you find a safe spot, take a moment to put on your socks and shoes! If you need to, put on your cargo shorts and tee shirt and belt. You may have been in bed, naked or taking a dump... now is a good time to use that TP. :)

Mini First Aid kit... in your initial flight, you may be barefoot and suffer some minor scratches. Here is where you use the mini first aid kit. Disinfect and clean your feet. You cannot have infection! Cover any open cuts now. You dont want accidental contact with zombie blood getting into open sores. The MFAK is not intended to be a triage or life saving device. It is intended to help you survive the first hour of the Zombie Apocalypse.

Lip balm? I have about 48 active chap sticks scattered about. It is good for your lips, but also, most of us are out of shape, and after hours of prolonged exertion we may start chafing in certain areas... for example, our nipples on the inside of our shirts or our elbows. Lip balm can help this... Just rub it on the chaffed areas and continue on your way to survival.

The safety glasses and rubber gloves are precautionary. You may be put in a situation where it is necessary to get mid-evil and blood starts flying. You dont want zombie blood flying into your eyes! Also the gloves will protect your hands. It would not hurt to get yourself one of those white paper Sars masks to keep it out of your mouth. If you want to survive the first hour of The Zombie Apocalypse, put them all on. In a pinch, ski goggles, sun glasses etc may also work and add some nondorky style to boot. They will also protect your eyes if you are forced to run through woods. Have you ever run through over grown woods? It is not like in Friday the 13th. There are a million little branches, saplings and other assorted hazards that love to poke you in the eye. The glasses will be invaluable in giving you the edge. Remember, you dont need to be the fastest runner to survive the first hour of the Zombie Apocalypse, just be faster then the guy...er... meat next to you. While he is being slowed down from being hit in the eyes by underbrush... you are cruizing right through it with your ventilated science glasses.

Multi tool is always useful. I keep one in my car, my desk at work, my desk at home, and in my ready packs. A cheap Coleman one from wal-mart will do for now.

You can never discount the little flashlight too, the one that comes in a belt holster. When you get time, put them both on your belt.

The rest of the stuff is obvious. matches and or a lighter are good to have along with some lighter fluid. Mostly, to start distraction fires to lure the zombies away from where you are trying to go.

Im sure there are many more items that should be in the ready pack, but these are the things I feel are most necessary to get you through Step One: Surviving the First Hour of the Zombie Apocalypse, which will be my next post. More to come!

10 comments:

Max said...

Good to hear that you are preparing for the inevitable! Just make sure that that flashlight is one of the handcranked or solar powered ones, as the last thing you want to do is run out of juice when scanning a dark building for shambling occupants.

Another thing that I would always keep on me is a walking stick, preferably of the collapsable sort. That way you have a weapon that can double as a crutch (in case you have a broken leg), a longer reach (if you are pinned/ trapped by something), or even just as a walking stick to take some pressure off of your legs on the long journey.

Oh, and a rain jacket, again preferably collapsable. Getting wet is deadly you know.

For more zombie survival tips I highly suggest Dr. Max Brooks Zombie Survival Guide, as knowledge is power!

TheFateOfTheDamned said...

dude you forgot gun i would need that and if you like zombie stuff have you ever played left 4 dead?

Salsa Prime said...

It's not much since I just started it, but I have a Zombie Survival blog going if you would like to check it out :)

http://zombiesurvivaltraining.blogspot.com/

jawaballs said...

hah, cool Sal. And I was just sort of blah blahing to reset my mind. :) Fateofthedamned.... I was talking about a Ready Bag, not a survival bag, they are different things. You gona keep a gun in your car? Do you even own a gun? :) For the record, I do keep ready bags, but more for the sake of any emergency, not just zombies.

Farske said...

When I was younger I had these very similar plans, lists etc. I even went to discuss it with my little sister when I left home for university.

After going through the initial emergency I made sure she knew where to get supplies locally, and a theory how to set up an artificial farm in the loft and where the local springs were. How to sustain herself and my family whilst I battle my way across country.

One thing I like to remind ppl is survivors can be very lethal.

If you havent read Max Brooks let me know I have a spare sitting about.

The Inner Geek said...

I'm just glad someone else is taking this threat seriously.

I do recommend Left 4 Dead as a training tool. If nothing else it helps to desensitize you to the post apocalyptic zombie world.

Andrew said...

Sounds like a good plan...and for the people that said that you need a gun think again...the average person doesnt know how a gun works nor can they shoot a moving target running towards you...shooting a gun is not like what it is in a video game...you have to take into account the recoil and reloading...but besides the gun part,... jawa... you a good set of gear to last you the first hour of escape...but a few hours after that you better get more of ur supplies :)
ps. nice post i thought i was one of the only ones who thought of this

Brian said...

You're on the right track. You should read this.

Never forget your weapons. Keep a hunting rifle and a machete in an accessible location. Pistols are crap. Have a retreat planned. Also, find out from the guide why a car may not be the best option.

Seriously, the book rules, and the "historical" part is freaking hilarious. You'd love it.

HuronBH said...

Wow, I thought I was the only one that had a Zombie Apoc Emergency Bag ready (Well an Emergency Bag that works well in case of Emergencies, Zombie related or not). I to would encourage you to check out Max Brooks Zombie Survival Guide and his account of what a World Wide Zombie Apoc might be like in Z Wars: Legend of the Zombie Wars, both are good reads.

As additions to your emergency bag I would suggest upping the Cargo Shorts to Cargo Pants as you do not want Zombies or even simple thorns scratching your exposed legs as you escape. Also I have found a box of water proof matches, in place of a lighter to be very effective as they reduce the need to carry extra fuel (unless you are considering the fuel for a possible duel roll of refill and an explosive/fire anti Zombie weapon). A Glass breaking tool can be helpful too, for breaking troublesome windows as you escape reaching Zombie hands or store windows to get much need supplies (the second tip should only be applied in the case of a Zombie Apoc).

I look forward to more of your thoughts and will try to swing by your booth at GD. I will be working the IFL 40k Rapid Fire tables.

Jwolf said...

Almost as important is to identify your Unlucky Secondary Characters, and make sure you have a good supply of those handy. And that you run faster than they do. Goatboy is a great one for me, because he's short and slow-moving, as well as cursed to open the wrong door at the wrong time (by an old gypsy, honest).

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